She said her name was "party"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
