Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
