is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
