I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
