i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
