glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Panties = found
Randomize
