she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
