Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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