He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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