I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
