12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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