Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
