Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
