You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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