Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
