We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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