dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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