dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
