he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
