it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
