By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
