Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
