so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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