My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
