Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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