She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
