We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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