You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
