I cockslap morals
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
