Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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