No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
