They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
