No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The beer is more important than you right now.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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