I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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