i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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