so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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