My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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