If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We got so high we made milksteak
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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