You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
