when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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