After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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