need another drink. this is the easiest way
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
