Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Randomize
