Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
