if you like me you must not know who I am
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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