You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
