wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Still dying that you shit outside
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
