At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
