Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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