entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
