i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
