Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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