so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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