Whod you bang
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
